Advice

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Dating Advice

Too few people express their true selves at online dating sites. Many of the ads look just like all the rest. That’s no way to stand out from the crowd!
Make the most of a dating site

With millions of people visiting dating sites, you can have a real chance of finding that rare someone who likes you, a potential mister or ms right. It doesn’t matter if you’re plump, thin or taller/shorter than average, there’s bound to be someone for whom you are the perfect match! But they may not notice you if you don’t stand out from the crowd. So stress the points that make you different, ask friends how they would describe you, and incorporate that into your profile. The more honest the better, or the first date could be the last.

If you get no responses, it could be that your photo isn’t what’s keeping everyone away, but your written profile may be putting them off. Be true to who you really are and what you really want, and avoid sounding like all the rest with clichés.

Don’t apologise for being there or make light of online dating, the people you’re hoping to meet are also online dating, so you’re all equal. It’s nothing to be ashamed of, millions are doing it every day, and in this fast-paced modern world, it’s one of the best ways of meeting people with similar interests. Online dating isn’t new any more, everyone is doing it, from young to old. ‘I love meeting new people outside my usual circle’ is a better approach than ‘I can’t believe I’m doing this’ or ‘this isn’t really my thing, but I’ll give it a try’.Be honest about your interests and hobbies. Sounding like a brainiac fascinated with the birth of the universe might impress a few, but being a dog lover and loving to walk for miles in the countryside might just attract more, and more importantly, the person you’re hoping will be ‘the one’ could be really attracted to the real you. If you have a small child, there’s no point in hiding the fact as dates will find out once they get to know you, and will feel you’ve lied to them. Be honest, be accurate, and be humourous. Put yourself down rather than building yourself up, you can then only impress them with the reality rather than disappoint!

Think about what’s really important. One of the reasons online dating is so popular is because the format allows you to show the real you complete with odd quirks and idiosyncracies which often form the basis for attraction. The more you reveal, the more sure you can be that anyone who gets in touch is attracted to the real you, and not to a created persona.

And last but not least, relax. You may find your soul mate first time, but it doesn’t happen often. Enjoy meeting new people, flirting, chatting, swapping stories, joking. Don’t feel pressured or desperate, if your perfect match is there, they will find you or you will find them in good time, let it happen naturally, you can’t force it. In the meantime, enjoy hanging out.

Most of us have been dumped and done some dumping. Don't bring up past relationships except as a way of mentioning your kids if you have any. Your prospective partner doesn't want to hear that much of your past life. If you dwell too much on your ex, your date will think they can't measure up, and if you put your ex down, your date will wonder if you'll do the same to them one day.

If you have a major disability, mention it. But there's no need to go into detail. Try to get across what you want to say in actual words rather than net acronyms.

Anything you post on the Net is there to be read by anyone, so be sure that you'd feel okay with anyone [even your worst enemy] reading your profile. For safety, don't include your phone number, last name or personal email address. You can always give them to individuals in emails once you feel ok about them. Be warned that con men and women are now targetting some dating sites, so take precautions, check the site is careful and strict, and protect yourself. If you have any doubts, don't ignore them, check the person out thoroughly before commiting yourself.

If you just write a few words, you will seem boring or secretive. If you tell your life's story, you may appear like you can't shut up. If you can't think of anything at all to say in your profile, people may think you lack interest.

Explicit sex talk may scare away as many as it attracts. You'll have a better chance with most if you keep it mild though, at most, lightly flirtatious. It will make you stand out from the crowd if you nurture a bit of mystery.

Above all, enjoy your online dating experience. 99% of people are there for the same reasons as you, to meet people and perhaps meet that special someone, your Mister Right or Ms Right.